always

i've been here 

before

a few times

i miss 

your laugh 

your smile

so here 

i am

we're dying

so here

i am

never ready

for you

you said

always

the hardest part about missing you

the hardest part about missing you
is the happiness i constantly
felt in my heart
swelling and full
and light at the same time

the hardest part about missing you
is feeling like i was set
like i was where i was
supposed to be
like i could relax

the hardest part about missing you
is the warmth you brought
to my cheeks
when you said the right thing
at the right time

the hardest part about missing you
is knowing how good it was
for that one moment
and thinking about what
could have been now

the hardest part about missing you
is thinking about how i was the one
who put my foot down
and thinking i am the one
to blame for my own emptiness

the hardest part about missing you
is feeling silly that i still love you
even after all this time
and even though this has happened
so many times before

full grown

alone alone alone
we are without
each other

i cant stop looking
at my phone
to see if you are
okay

i should have
known that
we would
not survive

maybe i will
be better when
i am full grown

I Look For You In Everyone

I like to think

that I'm okay

and you don't 

exist in my 

head

But then I 

hear something

funny and all

I want is to

tell you what 

was said

I look for you

in everyone

even though

we are done

I search the faces

and thoughts

of the people

that pass me by

But I know

I'll never find 

you because we

already had 

plenty of goodbyes