wasted on you

i spent all that time
for my future love
working on myself
so i could love fully
and accept fully
and feel fully

but i felt like i was
wasting it on you
because you
didnt love me
unconditionally
when i felt fully
and opened myself
up to you

you were quick to
knock me down
without an explanation
quick to criticize and judge
hypocrite
dumb
illogical
my self-improvement
was wasted on you

Innerer Schweinehund

your Innerer Schweinehund
makes me sick
maybe someone will find it
endearing
and not feel like they have to
hold in their nausea
satisfy their disgusting
flesh and slobber and
rolling around in the mud needs
the ugly realization and doubt
of the relationship
because of you
and your Inner Pig Dog

miss you less and less

i miss you
less and less each day
i feel so relieved
that i left you

manipulative
lying
unempathetic
idiotic
scripted
foolish
impulsive

fuk u

i dont miss you

i dont miss you at all
its like you never existed
over a year with you
and it felt like nothing

i didnt let you
leave anything behind
over a year with you
and it took a minute
to forget you

you were always irrelevant
in my heart
and you are nothing
to me now

whats your name again?

moving on

moving on
to something new
you are completely
out of my life
i dont need to know
what youre doing
nor do i want to

moving on
to something new
to someone who
deserves and has earned
the privilege of
knowing what
im up to

moving on
to something new
i cant wait to
see everything
thats better than you

youre a distant memory

youre a distant memory
i barely remember
the sound of your voice
the touch of your hands
the color of your eyes

i do remember your betrayal
your lies
your insecurities
your inability to take responsibility

how you disrespected me

and those are memories
i dont want to forget

hopeful

hopeful
and ready for a change

ready to move on
even for a morning

welcoming a new start
a breath of fresh air

a foreign interaction
even if it doesnt catch on

im hopeful

not that this one
is supposed to be the one

but hopeful
that i can have a new start