I Miss You

I miss your warm eyes staring into mine
And you challenging me in every way
I miss holding your hand
And you giving me a reassuring squeeze
I miss that fuzzy feeling I get when you talk to me
And how your arms envelop all of me when we hug
I miss our easy back and forth
And our understanding of each other
I miss how you have a tough exterior
And your vulnerable words breaking through your walls
I miss being able to help you through your worries
And reassuring you that you are good enough
I miss your goofy moments
And how you try to hide your smile but can't
I miss the connection we have
And the knowledge that we need each other
I miss the little promises we've made
And how sure I am to trust you
I miss giggling with you about silly things
And feeling giddy and excited around you
I miss feeling like you are just meant for me
And feeling like I am meant for you
I miss how safe I feel with you
And knowing that you wouldn't let anything bad happen
I miss you and how it was before
And I want you to miss me

Compassion

Compassion held me back. She was nice and caring, of course. She was not very loud and lived most days far away as a hermit, but on special occasions she would come out and visit the people around me. She would come and go as she pleased on her brief visits in town, but her presence was always special nonetheless. She would gently remind me about Feelings, which would frequently run away and hide when Compassion left, and she would urge me to find Feelings time after time. She worked with me so I would be vulnerably soft, weak, and exposed.

Compassion held me back. She held me back from who I really wanted to be with: Reality. Reality was rough around the edges, but I liked how raw and blunt his personality was. I enjoyed the danger that he brought with him, and I didn't mind the harshness that would come out of him in random tantrums. But Compassion limited my relationship with Reality by muting my time with him. She made it hard to respond to Reality, and she kept stopping me from telling him what I truly wanted to say.

Compassion held me back. It did not take me long to realize that Compassion and Reality could not coexist. Compassion did not stand a chance against Reality. She died hard. I couldn't help but feel relieved when I saw Compassion dead on the floor with Reality standing over her with a bloody knife. You see, if Compassion kept on living, I wouldn't have been able to live fully with Reality. Without Compassion, I can be who I am destined to be with Reality. Compassion held me back.

I Tell You Too Much

I always feel like I tell you too much
And I only talk more with your touch
When I am with you I tend to ramble
Careful to leave you nothing to unscramble
There are always things said that I regret
All starting from that day we first met
The words in my head come out in a rush
I can't help but feel a little nervous about a crush
I just want you to know who I am
So the information I must cram
A motive is behind everything I say
But I just do it in an over the top way
I know I should stop babbling
I know I should be cutoff from chattering
But you sometimes sit there so quietly
And that gives me a little anxiety
Talking to you is just so easy for me
So I can't stop talking to you to a degree
And though I feel like I tell you too much
I'm sure you think I don't tell you enough

My January Playlist

I put together a playlist of songs that I have been listening to a lot this month:

Listen to my playlist on Youtube here.

Must Have Shoes

Must Have Shoes by mkovacs featuring flat shoes

TOMS slip on shoes / Michael Kors riding boots / Rampage army boots / UGG Australia ankle booties, $245 / Sperry Top-Sider slip on shoes / Call it spring shoes, $52 / Michael Antonio platform pumps / Chloé flat shoes

My New Year's Resolutions

Happy New Year!

Since today is the first of January and I put together a list of my new year's resolutions:

1. Have more fun
2. Be more patient and compassionate toward others
3. Continue to go outside my comfort zone
4. Widen my social circles
5. Do more yoga and meditate more
6. Keep my dorm room cleaner
7. Write more thank you cards
8. Only do homework on Saturday nights if absolutely needed
9. Take off my makeup every night
10. Remain happy

Here's to 2014!