Victimizer: A Series. Pt 7

I am grateful for getting out of your abuse
I am grateful for all I have accomplished
Since leaving you

From going to an out-of-state college
To traveling and living in Europe for 4 months
From earning my degree on time
To graduating cum laude
From moving to Chicago on my own
To starting my dream career in Florida
From furthering my dream career in Milwaukee
To finding my lifelong friends all over the country
From learning and growing in a long-term relationship
To growing closer to my loved ones

My list is endless
And I know it will never stop
Because even though you try to
Make yourself look like the victim
Because I left to grow like everyone else
I know better
I do not victimize myself
I am not a victim of anything
I am a survivor of everything

Victimizer: A Series. Pt 6

And even after all of that
I still wish you the best
I wish for you to get mentally healthy
For you to grow up
And learn how to think of others
Learn how to put yourself in others' shoes
I wish for you to work on yourself
And see that there’s a whole world out there
You don’t need to stay in your little corner of the world
That your family has never left
The world is more than the square of your town
The world is more than parties in your parents' garage
The world is more than your same two friends

I hope you stop victimizing yourself
And see that you were the abuser
Because I am allowed to grow
You cannot control your friends
You have to be proud when they grow and learn

Victimizer: A Series. Pt 5

I find the utmost comfort in knowing
I am more successful than you
In my career
In my finances
In my family
In my friendships
In my relationships
In my vast traveling resume
And most importantly,
In my classiness
In my empathy
In my selflessness
In my ability to be a good person
And an amazing friend

I find relief in knowing I escaped from you
In knowing I’m not held back from you anymore
And your inability to feel empathy towards your loved ones
You selfishness
Your toxicity
Your lack of loyalty
Your lack of character
Your wanting to get ahead by dragging me down
Your general lack of awareness of the world around you
Your jealousy of my successful life
Your close-minded attitude
The blatant racism, slut-shaming, and homophobia of your family

I find pride in knowing
My family and loved ones
Know what you did
And how you poorly treated me
And how disgusted they are in you

Victimizer: A Series. Pt 4

You then betrayed me with someone close to me
I would have never done that to you
I realized all the red flags of poor character
And the lack of empathy

You came crawling back to me
And had the nerve to say
You had been angry with me
As if I hadn’t supported you
As you abused me
Again and again

And yet
After all of that
I had more class than you
And I offered a polite reply
To the girl who only cared
About herself and dragged
Everyone through the mud with her

Victimizer: A Series. Pt 3

Then I was heartbroken by my first love
And I told you I was hurt
Later you asked if I was still not over it
I expressed how I was still struggling
And I needed more time to recover
You did not care and said you
Had something to say
I told you not to because I knew
It would hurt my mental health

You did it anyway

That’s when your bad intentions
Poured out
You didn’t want to help me
You didn’t care if I was hurt
You didn’t care if you hurt me

I called out how you wouldn’t understand
Because you were inexperienced
And didn’t understand the whole situation
And you pulled an assumption out of nowhere
(Which I later learned was far from the truth)
Even when you knew it would hurt your heartbroken friend
You kicked me repeatedly when I was down

All the empathy I had for you
For all those years
And you couldn't feel empathy for me

Victimizer: A Series. Pt 2

I constantly put myself outside my
Comfort zone
You were stagnant
And I began to outgrow you
And you became toxic
I supported your lackluster life
And uneducated decisions
Because I knew you needed support
I knew you didn't realize
I would grow from my experiences
You were not excited when I
Had good news
You were excited when something
Unfavorable happened to me

I knew you were in a dark place
I made excuses for your abuse
I tried to tell myself you were
Just depressed
And needed therapy
For your abusive behavior
I gave you the benefit of the doubt

Victimizer: A Series. Pt 1

All those years
Spending every weekend together
Shopping at Forever 21
Watching Twilight
Singing Marina and the Diamonds
Eating ice cream from the Mcdonalds drive-thru

When it was time to grow
I left to grow and do as I should
You stayed
You chose to stay
You chose again and again
And victimize yourself as “underprivileged”

When I started to drink
You then followed
When I started dating
You felt like you were behind
When I traveled the world
You tried to as well...and came up short
You did not like me having other friends
Even when I reassured you no one could
Replace you