your love letters

your love letters
written in soft pencil
on loose leaf from
your grad school notebook
folded and filled
with your delusions
you didnt want me to leave
you have regrets
youre sorry
an offer to meet in person

you dont know
i know
going behind my back
the lies
the sneaking around
lessens the blow to my heart
guilt diminishes
this whole time
i deserved better
anyway

i let you go
to set me free
and ill never look back

on to the next one

you make me tired
and sick
not who i thought
didnt break my heart
on to the next one
one who reaches my standards
because
youre not shit

i will rise

finally getting my time
rising above you
in your dumb state
youll never leave
but i will
i will rise
in more ways than one
youre unmoving

breathing easily

finding myself
remembering to breathe
not as bad
as i thought
you made it easy
not as hard
as i thought
free

if i only knew

if i only knew
what i knew now

this is all new to me

what would i change

thanks for the attention
and buying me juice