broken reality

i tried to run away
from you
so i wouldn't have to
face our broken reality

but that is not
something i could
escape from

it always lingered
in my head

i pushed away all
thought of you in January

i felt a single stab
from you in February

i lived in blissful denial
of any of this in March

and now i must come home
and out of hiding
to feel the pain ive been
putting off all this time

rhythm of your name

i know you must be
hurting just as much
as me

because

if i am still hurting
and feeling like my
heart will never be
full enough

and i feel you
existing in my dreams

and i feel gravity
pulling me to you
wherever that may be

and i feel my breath
match the rhythm of
your name

then i know you
must be feeling that too

because

it would be too much for
one person to carry
that by themselves

i need you to carry that
with me

What Nat Does

Goals for My Life
1. Marry Bruno
2. Have a child
3. Graduate from college
4. Have an apartment I'm in love with
5. Be debt free
6. Take my parents on vacation
7. Travel to Central/South America, Europe, and Asia
8. Own a beach house
9. Go inside my grandparent's old house
10. Have a job I really enjoy
11. Travel alone
12. Have my own cat/dog

hope is the thing
with feathers
sometimes it flies
just an inch from
the tips of our fingers

stretch our arms out
our muscles and skin
pulling and tugging

blood drains from
our hands and forearms
cold and heavy

maybe one day

Rolling Thoughts

Trying to remember why
you thought this was what you wanted

Safe, Easy, Light

Keep reminding yourself
why you're giving this a try

Get over the one from before

He doesn't need to understand
you to love you

He's not playing games

Thinking back to what
you could've had

Don't get behind

They say it's not okay
to be alone

Appreciate him for what he is

Don't think about it
too much

im a nasty woman

im a nasty woman
i dont want to make myself small

i find humor in the awkward
i find humor in the cynical
i find humor in the bizarre
i thrive in the uncomfortable

i dont bow down to social cues
i am a faux pas
i will not bow down
to make someone more comfortable
because they cant handle who i really am

conflict doesnt scare me
why should it
does that strength make me
any less feminine

im weird but that is my truth
your truth might be different
but im okay with that if you are

im a nasty woman
i can be blunt but im real
i can be loud and obnoxious
but i know who i am
it took me a long enough to get here

i know how much i am worth
i know how much respect i deserve
all of it

im a nasty woman