screwed-up love

is it so bad
that i miss that
fluttering feeling in my heart
that you would give me every day

i know i shouldnt miss you
we werent good for each other
i tried my best
but you left your role opened
what was i supposed to do?
you didnt step up
you couldve had me forever
i wanted that
what were you doing?

and two years later
i still cant help but smile
when i remember your
screwed-up love

couldnt take the distance

as good as i felt
when things were good
i just couldnt take the distance

it drained me
i didnt know how to make it better
and you were fading
i could actually see you drifting away
slipping through my fingers

and i knew this isnt what you wanted
you wanted to live in a cabin
and have kids with me
maybe by the beach

you wouldnt go the distance
so how could i stay
i couldnt take it

nothing else to say

there's nothing else to say
you took my sanity
gaslighting me
every chance you got
make me feel empty

there's nothing else to say
you took my spirit
you didn't encourage time
with my family and friends
isolate me and make me only yours

there's nothing else to say

except

go fuck yourself, jordan

wind chill and lake effect snow

finding warmth in the cold
wind chill and lake effect snow
the crisp, sharp air
fills my chest to fulfillment
the humidity in florida is too much
i cant breathe easy down there
the heavy air is pulling me down
getting stuck in my throat
i gag because i do not belong there
but im not sure where i belong
im getting pulled in different directions
where do i go
who can i trust
meeting the unfamiliar
and Difficult Things
all the time

basic bitch boy

too dumb to learn
too selfish to listen
too unaware to care
about me
or anyone

a performance
to put it nicely

doesnt realize how fake
his basic bitch boy act
really is
he reenacts what he sees
pretends to do what he thinks
hes supposed to do
not smart enough to know
any different
because hes just like his
uneducated
unemployed
dumb bitch mother
both too dumb to know any better

thank god i know better
thank god i knew to leave
and i ran as fast as i could
away from the dumb basic bitch boy